I am proudly female, exuding femininity.
However, there are several ways to address me, nonetheless my name is not how to portray myself to a man.
One basic Google search initiated this story. The only reason I conducted my research was to learn the best coastal pilau recipe because I desired an aromatic experience yielding intense satisfaction for my soul & this halted when the algorithms suggested this-“Treat your Man Right in 10 ways.”
“How to Be the Woman He Never Attempts to leave.”
“How to talk So He Feels Respected.”
“Secrets to Unlocking a Man’s Heart.”
“How to teach a man to treat you in a relationship/ marriage.”
I paused.
Looked around.
Did the algorithms just denote me to be in servitude in indirectly? Anyway, I clicked on the link, as curiosity has its own reason of existence.
Halfway through, the guidance shifted from relationship instruction towards a description of something like an unremunerative internship.
Cook fresh delicacies for him daily before he gets home, that’s not the help’s job.
Massage his manly ego, not only his back. You don’t question him.
Let him have the final say as the man of the house. It is his right to have his way.
Don’t bother him with your problems, that’s yours to deal with, he’s preoccupied with issues that are of more importance.
Don’t be an unfulfilled, and troublesome woman. Exude tranquility as men value peace more than looks.
Massage what? I’m tired of all these that bring men glorification vibes. Where is my peace?
I shut the tab. My eyes moved to the screen. Then at my reflection in the black laptop screen.
My whole reflection appeared exhausted according to even my own eyes, almost saying, “Girl, do you really agree with this?”
Let’s be honest, how many pieces have you come across pieces, with the headline, “How to treat a lady/woman?” The ratio is unmatched. Not only with flowers, chocolates and texts that say “thoughtful of you,” but with real efforts, commitment, care, trustworthiness and consistency. When woke women decide to see through the mere texts and everything and concentrate more on actions, “thinking of you” remains a mirage, actions speaking louder than words.
Where are the articles on- “How to cherish a woman, just as Christ loved the church” “How to Love a woman who grins with tears almost cascading from her eyes, healing her inner child,” “How to support a woman break the glass ceiling,” “How to erase the toxic mentality of her only being a child-making machine,” “How to be that man that shows up for her without making a fuss,” or “How to communicate respectfully with a lady as a man.” “How to not to kill ladies amid fights-femicide.”
I want to see such instances in articles, blogs, and other forms of digital media, viral, in boundless numbers. Women also need to be valued, respected, adored and supported. Perhaps seeing this would make me not give that bombastic side eye.
Now listen up. I am not against men, as I am cognizant enough that good ones exist, those intentional about treating women right, emotionally intelligent, well-mannered and God-fearing. Those ones? May God increase them on earth. But my energy? My rooting goes to women, as we deserve better trainings on submission, not what women go through in the hands of narcissistic and nonchalant men, masqueraded as love.
And yes, I am doing this with wholeheartedness, refusing to entertain the bare minimum. Let’s be authentic. I am a woman, not a manual.
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